Rewrite & Relive

Why is it important to be vocal about your bad experiences?

Our brain is the most complex and unique organ. It stores all our experiences, and we can remember them whenever we want. The more feelings attached to the affair longer they will stay in our brains. Some experiences are so painful that they go deeper into our brain and becomes unforgettable. A heartbreaking incident can ruin our life. Every time we recall dreadful events from the past, they bring fear, depression, and loneliness to us.

In such scenarios, the experienced psychologist suggests that it is better to change your responses to your past experiences. For instance, if you had faced a bitter break-up because your partner cheated on you, then instead of feeling miserable about it, be thankful that at least you didn’t marry that person and you can be with someone who deserves you. Also, you can be grateful that you saved yourself from future suffering; because a person who cheats on you may be harmful in many other ways. However, saints and gurus ask you to forgive the person and help yourself to achieve miraculous success in your life. That is another good option because feeling bad and cursing the cheater will not cause them any discomfort.

Both ways are the best and most helpful, but at the same time, they are strenuous to practice. Also, these techniques need time and courage. You cannot change your responses to any uncertain event overnight. Then what is a possible solution for instant relief?

Well, there is a theory. Every time you remember an unfortunate past event and talk about it, you change the memory. Let me make it simple for you. Imagine you have suffered from a painful event like misunderstanding and cursing by your loved ones, loss of your family member, failure, or anything which has caused you terrible pain. When you start talking about it, you take out the memory from your brain and go through it. While talking about it, you keep adding experiences and feelings from the current situation. You save memory with these alterations. Now, every time you speak about it or write about it, you keep on altering it. If the emotions you are adding are love, gratitude, passion, and happiness, then the intensity of that painful experience reduces. For example, you are sharing the experience with your mother by keeping your head on her lap; you are experiencing security and love at that moment. When these sentiments mix with the emotions from your memory, it starts altering the severity of the past emotions.

That is how if we talk about dreadful events with our loved ones or psychiatrist in a happy and secure environment, then the intensity of pain from past events starts diminishing. This technique helps us change our responses to past events and forgive others and ourselves. In this New Year, let’s try expressing more. Don’t forget to share your experience with us.

Until next time Rewrite your Mind & Relive your Life.

Further Readings

About the Author:

Dr. Priyanka Mohol [BHMS, PGDEMS & CC, DDHN, MPH (Scotland)]

Public Health Consultant & Community Nutrition Specialist

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